Lina Lamont

"What do you think I am, dumb or something?"

Fast & Furious 6

This review first appeared in the Sunday Star-Times, 26th May 2013

Not wanting to waste more of your time than will be sucked up by the two and a bit hour running time, here’s a brief rundown (pun intended) of the latest Fast & Furious flick.

Chase one: before the opening titles. First clichéd line: “I got you five minutes with this guy”. “I only need two”. Cue: massive punch-up.

Second cliché: the baddies are (wait for it) – British! The live in “Lundun”. You know, the London where foxy South American women wear tiny skirts to illegal street races and fellow road-users get out of your way. That London.

But for some reason Dwayne Johnson’s CIA agent Hobbs has jurisdiction in Britain, so he enlists the help of a gang of exiled crims (led by Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and the usual suspects) to help him track down, and possibly hurt a little, the head baddie played by Luke Evans (who has until now mostly been in silly, thuggish films, and shows no sign of branching out).

The womenfolk fall into two categories: the unrealistically understanding girlfriends who give their menfolk permission to go off and find presumed-dead ex-girlfriends and slip back into a life of crime; and actual fighters like Gina Carano who is incredible and only has to suffer slight indignities like Hobbs saying “Woman, you keep that up and I’ll be out of a job”. Oh, and a baddie who looks like Galadriel.

Car chases, fights, deadpan delivery of stock lines, car chases, betrayal, a twist (ooh!), sadness, and then a completely inappropriate group prayer when it’s all over.

And apparently there’s going to be a seventh.

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