Lina Lamont

"What do you think I am, dumb or something?"

Jurassic Park 3D

20 years after its initial release, some little capitalist up in Hollywood has thought to put Jurassic Park (the first one – the best one) into 3D, and yes, it’s totally worth seeing.

Good old Steven Spielberg. I rather think it’s a tribute to him and his decades of filmmaking prowess that this film doesn’t feel very dated, that the dinosaurs – part animatronic, part-SFX – are still genuinely frightening, and that you aren’t too distracted by remembering that, once upon a time, people thought Sam Neill was not only leading man material, but plausible as hot Laura Dern’s love interest.

A nostalgic wobble down memory lane is worth this two hours in the cinema, less because of the 3D (which is mostly fine, but debatably unnecessary) but more because of the delight to be had in seeing a lesser-known Samuel L. Jackson spouting lines like “Hold onto your butts” with one fag after another dangling from his lips. There’s Newman from Seinfeld causing all the trouble. The aforementioned Dern looking unbelievably young, commercialised and attractive with her bandy colt legs bookended by khaki shorts and tramping boots.

And of course there’s Jeff. Once upon a time Goldblum was very much the hunk, the ladies man, and here he is relieved of running-away-from-dinosaurs duty by getting injured early on and spending the rest of the movie lolling about with his shirt undone. Being tended to by a wizened old Dickie Attenborough. (Try as I might, I couldn’t quite see the young lad from Brighton Rock in the British actor’s face, but there is something satisfying about knowing the cinematic legend has such range.)

Probably my favourite revelation as a *cough* slightly more mature audience member, is that Bob Peck (who NONE of you will know unless you watched the old TV series Edge of Darkness yonks ago) has THE sexiest male legs I’ve seen in literally decades. Phwoar. Whatever became of Bob?

Of course, the one thing that has dated is the technology – my audience was rolling in the aisles as the young lass enthused over “the interactive CD-ROM!!” and the computer system that governs Jurassic Park, and thus its downfall, is inevitably hopelessly jurassic itself.

But overall, a revisit to the park that spawned a thousand theme-park rides is well worth the indignity of admitting you are old enough to have seen it in the cinema the first time round.


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